Nengsih: Sad Story from Cimenyan
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| Nengsih in her garden farm. Cikored, 27 September 2020 |
My name is
Nengsih. I am 27 years old. I am having a problem that gives me a headache.
My first
child, Desi, will soon be the same age as me when I was first forced into married. Yes,
now she is 12 years
old. She looks even more beautiful than me when I was her age. She knows how to use make-ups,
and she’s good at dressing up. She's no longer creased and dirty like
when she was a child.
In the
past, I didn't have time to properly take care of my children. Early in the morning before they got up, I have
had to go out to find grass
for fodder. Our family works taking care of the sheeps belonging to other people in town who untrust them
to us and from there we get
a share of profit.
I have to
take care of the sheep, otherwise the sheep will get sick and emaciated. That
would be a big problem, because that’s
all I can do to make a living since my husband left me.
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| Nengsih, Desi and Gunawan. Curug Batutemplek, 23 September 2018 |
Before
2018, when I was with my husband, my income was not sufficient, so I had to work cutting grass from morning to evening.
As soon as my husband left, it became even more difficult for me.
The
children are getting neglected. In the morning I have to go to work, I don't
have time to prepare breakfast and take care of them before leaving for school.
They have to do it themselves. They often play in the fields and sometimes join
me working under the scorching sun. Their skin is rough and cracked. The corners of their lips are cut and their hair is reddish.
Cleaning
and washing is difficult because in our kampung it is hard to get clean water. There are no bathroom and toilet inside the house. For bathing, washing and cooking, we had
to go down the slope to fetch water from the river in the valley. Fortunately, there is now a
bathroom and a water channel that the Odesa Foundation built in 2018 near our
house.
Sometimes I
don't know whether my child goes to school or not. Luckily my mother lives in a
house nearby. Every now and then I can entrust them, but my mother has other
grandchildren to take care of. It would be troublesome if she also has to take care of my children who are
often sick.
I often
come home in the evening without knowing what my child was doing that day, how it
was at school, what lessons that day. Even if I ask, maybe I
can't help much either. They often just stay silent, not saying anything when asked. Since their
father left, my children are often gloomy and don't talk much.
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| Desi. Cikored, 27 September 2020 |
Now Desi is
in the fifth grade of elementary school. When I got married, I still hadn't
finished elementary school, and never went to school again after I had
children. But, I don't know how I can pay for Desi and Gunawan's school for the
next level. Money for food is not enough. Especially now that I have a small
baby from a new husband. Still, for the necessities of life we have to work hard.
When the
Odesa Foundation board came and asked about Desi, to be honest I said I was afraid that Desi could no
longer go to school. Moreover, she has failed to pass to next grade twice. She is 12 years old, but the mentor from Odesa who guided her study said Desi still could not read. So she must be continuously guided.
When I
think about Desi, I am afraid that she will have to go through what I'm going
through, marrying at a young age when she still can't do anything. I don't want her to have the same fate as me. I want her
to continue her school,
have high goals, get a job in the city or run her own business. That's my only hope, that she can bring me and her siblings out of this difficult life.
If she gets a scholarship to continue
studying at a pesantren far from this village, I will be calmer. Because the older
and more beautiful she’s
got while still living here,
the more I am afraid that she will be forced to marry young. But what can I do,
I don't know who to ask for help.
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| Nengsih's new husband, pulling up a sack of newly harvested corn. Cikored, 27 September 2020 |
Anyway, I am happy that I was recently introduced us to
yard farming activities. Odesa Foundation taught us to grow small farm in our small yard. There are not many plants to
grow because the land is
narrow. With this I have other activities. I grow red spinach, pokchoy, onions,
kale, moringa and other vegetables.
At first I don't know how to grow plant this way at all. Mang Ujang Rusmana from Odesa comes to us every
week and provides capital for seeds, polybags, paranets and teaches how to plant. Also guarantees a purchase
in case I have trouble selling my garden crops.
After two
months, my garden began to show results. I can cook vegetables without buying. And
since the harvest is more than
what I need, I can sell it to the shop or to the market. So I have additional
income by taking care of plants in the morning and evening.
At least
for today, I can rest easy. What will happen tomorrow, I will think later.
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